Rest and Focus- How A Softer Life Can Facilitate Achievement

In my early 20’s I honestly thought I was going to die.

Diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder, I was living a life full of fear from the moment I woke up, to the moment I went to sleep- and that’s only if my sleep was dreamless.

On top of that, I had (have) a tendency towards perfectionism which snowballed into working myself into the ground to achieve as much as possible to an incredibly high standard.

Thankfully, after years of intensive CBT and inner work, I got my life back and was able to drop a lot of the things that were causing so much stress, for which I will always be grateful.

While I’m not going into detail about all of that just yet, I did want to mention the role those experiences played in helping me embrace the concept of a soft life.

You may have heard of the soft life movement in your travels across the internet. It can broadly be defined as a life that prioritises rest, focussing on the things that bring you joy, and reducing stress levels across the board.

This article from Elle beautifully explains this origin of the soft life movement in more detail.

While some may see a soft life as a direct rejection of hustle culture, I like to think the two work together: a softer, focussed life gives us the mental, physical and emotional space to be able to achieve success in whatever area of life we choose.

What is a soft life?

·         Taking time to enjoy hobbies

·         Getting enough rest

·         Setting boundaries

·         Moving through life at your own pace

·         Living intentionally

·         Disconnecting

I don’t think it’s healthy, or possible, to strive to eliminate stress completely- the process of doing so will, undoubtedly, be stress-inducing in itself.

In my 20’s I wanted to completely eliminate anxiety from my life. It wasn’t enough to just learn to live with it, I wanted it gone.

Now that I’m older and (somewhat) wiser, I understand the crucial role anxiety plays in our lives, from helping us deal with threats to making sure we perform well when needed.

That being said, I do want to address the surface level assumption that a soft life is the easy way out- it is not.

What a soft life is not:

·         Giving up

·         Being lazy

·         Ignoring responsibility

·         Weakness

Having the ability to recognise when you need rest, and then actually giving yourself that rest, shows a level of self-awareness and knowing how to get your needs met. That is an incredibly powerful thing!

Having the energy to pour into the things that matter to you is vital, and we can’t get to that point if we don’t rest.

There are so many things I want to do, but I tend to want to do everything at once, overwork myself and then burn out so badly it takes me weeks to recover. The result? I’m upset, unwell and so darn tired, and none of the projects I wanted to complete get done because I worked myself into the ground. Again.

Living a softer more intentional life has given me the ability to balance out the things I want to do, while also giving my mind and body the rest it needs.

I acknowledge we all operate in different ways and have different stress tolerances. What burns me out might give you energy, just like some of the ways I recharge might cause you anxiety.

This blog aims to explore the ways I have benefitted from living more intentionally, and if that helps someone else feel seen, heard and a little more relaxed, then I count that as a success.